What is the heart of the matter in regards to my particular eating disorder and the stress I find myself under each day? I cannot for the life of me put a finger on it, which is even more irritating. Like an itch you just can't seem to reach. OH. That is terrible!
Some days I can paint beautiful pictures for you, and make life seem so happy and lovely and wonderful. Today is not that day. If anything I'm writing solely because it seems I'm losing my mind! I feel numb, emotionless (even though I know KNOW that I have plenty of emotions, due to the tear-spotted key-board on which I type!) I struggle with wondering what my worth is currently. Why is it that we seem to place our worth on our job or marital status or collegiate achievements? Maybe it's just me. But I have a feeling there are multitudes of others who do just the same.
Obviously I'm not in a great place, though I'm told things will get better.
But, when is that day? When is the grand "all better" day? I cannot wait to share, in the most unbiased way possible, the ridiculous twistings my family has gone through over the past two years. I won't even go into the years prior to that. Unless you have time to read a long, long book - think, hmmm,
I am POSITIVE I will have a happier story to tell later in the day. I did manage to make a successful Thanksgiving turkey this year! I would love to share the recipe and pictures and see what you might have ventured into attempting :)
So, I suppose I'll talk to you (or ya'll or you two.. or to whomever might glance at this) later. Happy Monday to you.